This past year

i have changed over this past year.
i have changed shape and i have changed form.
i have learned to love someone more than myself.
i have learned that i cannot stand separation.
in the beginning it was tough.
in the beginning it was difficult spending that much time with one person.
now it seems foolish to have thought that.
now it seems i have taken leaps and bounds.
my ears are much larger than before.
my ears are still always open but now know how to filter.
my world of physical and emotional are no longer separate.
my world is you.

My thinking spot

That place I showed you Wednesday, well I'm sitting here today
With something in either hand to make the pain go away
An aluminum can of mixed soft drinks
And a cigarette I'm convinced helps me think
I look at the green water and am ready to die
It's reflecting the trees and no longer the sky
Watching it pass, I feel for the dregs trapped on the side
While insects buzz around my head with thoughts of you and collide

nothing can reassure me as greatly and fully as your embrace.
every day, i need less and less of worldly things and agendas.
their medicine is years behind what your smile does for me.
i understand why some people need religion now.
because i would give my life for you.

j.w.

the feelings have never stopped, at times they simply change form.
but they never ceased.
you are a gem.
i count myself lucky everyday for having met you.

vyvanse

amphetamines do not sharpen the mind at all
this is a common misconception
no they merely dull it
speeding it up
so that you may be more productive
benefiting the whole

damn the whole
compliance will not come easily
i will speak willfully until my throat is left cracked and dry
until i choke on my own blood
tasting the iron within it
and i will spit in the face of society

bodily obsession

individual blades of grass run through my fingers
warmth comes from all sides

we are seemingly alone
we are surrounded by constant reminders of humanity

the earth is all we will ever need
we are just animals

suppressing my savage thoughts is what is expected
but it comes less and less natural everyday

my thoughts are no longer dangerous towards myself
but everyone else should be worried

my paradigm is shifting once more

my mind has always been longing and aching for something else
whether it is a body that used to be able to keep up with the sun
or a mind that does not stop
my hard times are self distorted
i do not wish i was this way
no more is this sorrow paying off the way it had used to
art and responsibility do not go hand in hand
unless they are quarreling with one another
i hope i can find a way to make this work
until then i do not know who i am