j.w.

the feelings have never stopped, at times they simply change form.
but they never ceased.
you are a gem.
i count myself lucky everyday for having met you.

vyvanse

amphetamines do not sharpen the mind at all
this is a common misconception
no they merely dull it
speeding it up
so that you may be more productive
benefiting the whole

damn the whole
compliance will not come easily
i will speak willfully until my throat is left cracked and dry
until i choke on my own blood
tasting the iron within it
and i will spit in the face of society

bodily obsession

individual blades of grass run through my fingers
warmth comes from all sides

we are seemingly alone
we are surrounded by constant reminders of humanity

the earth is all we will ever need
we are just animals

suppressing my savage thoughts is what is expected
but it comes less and less natural everyday

my thoughts are no longer dangerous towards myself
but everyone else should be worried

my paradigm is shifting once more

my mind has always been longing and aching for something else
whether it is a body that used to be able to keep up with the sun
or a mind that does not stop
my hard times are self distorted
i do not wish i was this way
no more is this sorrow paying off the way it had used to
art and responsibility do not go hand in hand
unless they are quarreling with one another
i hope i can find a way to make this work
until then i do not know who i am

sleepless night. sleepless morning.

early to bed and early to rise
will surely bring a boy to his mental demise
but never to sleep so never to wake
must create a mad man with hands that shake
i drove the town, it did not rest
though unlike i, she played her cards to her chest
i wept when told tales of monstrous disease
and begged it wasn't true while down on me knees
soon after the sob and after the drive
the streets filled with faces like bees to the hive
never to know of the crimes and the lies
never truly seeing with their un open eyes
yes none take note of such dreadful things
so I'll wait and see what this ignorance brings
I'll still visit my mistress in the early morn
always taking her beauty always taking her scorn
now the sun shines and it lulls you away
with most still in be un aware of the day

sun on my face
gun in my mouth
what a beautiful day to leave
the light travels through unbound branches
hitting your pale skin
making you luminescent
my angel to carry me over
today
to die

to death. onward.

infinity is my favorite sign

stretching onwards into itself
you can't quite see where it began
nor where it will end
all you know is
you are nowhere near either
at first the idea seems odd to you
everything in life has always ended
definitively
lives. marriages. love. warmth.
this constant state seems intangible
until it has been demonstrated to you
by a beautiful paradigm shift