lucid

turning over in my bed, i never did look at the clock. time right now is present but not on the forefront of my mind like it usually is. conversation takes place, but it is not important. knowingly i reach into the top draw and grab a pair of tattered jeans i haven't seen in years, i cannot see into this drawer but as soon as my fingers brush the cotton i know what exactly they look like. next i am wearing them, scissors in hand. i manage to perforate them without stabbing myself and cut them off above the knees. perfect. stabbing myself however never came to mind. nor did pain. am i feeling right now? why is there no noise upstairs? whatever. i go upstairs. deserted. into the kitchen. likewise. turning around i see the recently exited living room is filled with people and quite warm with the company. think nothing of it. i walk through and just stand there. stand. my legs. i dont feel them. oh. there they are. those occupying this space are just company and thats all they are. books without titles or words on the pages. no one acknowledges my presence but continues, looping in the same mindless activity. just watching television. was the tv over on that side of the room earlier? yeah. must have been. we move furniture around all the time. keeps the house free of excess dust i guess. think nothing of it. nothing.
nothing.
nothing.
"you have terrific eyebrows." anne says to me
anne and i are in my truck driving in a local neighborhood to my house from. well. im not certain.
"thanks doll, you're too nice to me."
"its hard not to be" she replies
i lean over in the truck.. hold on, truck?
i lean over in the truck and kiss anne while driving, nearly hitting a car.
makes me think of something Einstein once said. something about if you can kiss a pretty girl while driving safely youre not giving that kiss the attention it deserves.
anyway.we laugh as the folks look amused at our attempted automobile smooch/near wreck. and we look at each other and go for another. shortening the distance between us. eyes leaving the road. wait. how can this be? anne is still at her parents house, right? did she come down early? when did she get here?
i awake.