I wish to no longer feel, but you taught me how to

Another sleepless night, like the ones I’ve become so accustomed to, greets me with a prankish twinkle in his tall eyes. I am completely sober so please do not disregard this. The road guides me through poorly lit neighborhoods, cold with the recent winter that has set into our tiny village and into my tiny heart. Driving and smoking and smoking and driving and smoking until my singing voice cracks from the poison and from the tears. I imagine you looking at your phone and seeing whom it is after two rings hanging up and turning back to your company, laughing and smiling. I want to hate. I want to get over it. I want to love. In the morning I will wake up with my clothes on and the taste of stale cigarettes on my breath and I will try to forget this pathetic display of emotion.