09:11

i over slept
but it doesnt matter
the blinds are barely cracked to let in enough light to keep the computer monitor from burning my eyes
i thought that would help
it doesnt
all i want right now is for everyone making noise upstairs to die of heart failure
immediately
thats not too much to ask

paintin paintin paintin

at least a half hour
at work i try to get at least half an hour of sleep
when your painting your never finished
there will always be something else to paint
when you finsish the bitche's office you then move onto the prick's wash room
and so on and so on
etcetera etcetera
there are no true accomplishments.

garbage day

another morning walk to my truck, hoping that it'll start at least one more time
not even eight o'clock and the dew is already burned off the grass
its a Wednesday
im certain of this because of the garbage I'm taking to the curb
an older couple walks down the street
not holding hands, but still gravitating towards each other
not touching, but still somehow connected
they slowly ramble down the street
methodically picking through the trash and by products of strangers
treasure seekers seeking out of necessity or perhaps just boredom
i don claim to know which
by the time i get my truck started, after a few attempts that is,
the aged treasure hunters are loading up their relatively new green dodge Dakota
as i drive by in my relatively old red dodge Dakota
i wave to these fellow adventurers

-Reilly

Atheist

every day of the past three years has been a lie
one thousand ninety five days of deceit
i have pulled the wool over the eyes of friends and family
just in fear of their rejection

the look of disappointment in every eye of every other lalumendre
it is more than one could imagine
children have gone to war to to avoid such a look
because of course they are patriots just like their father damnit

the friends grew up knowing this truth
it was expected. it was inevitable.
we started in the same race, lined up neatly ready to go
but somehow ended up scattered about the lanes. barely breathing.

-Reilly

drowning

motionless and beautiful below the surface
as if a gem behind glass
this is by far her greatest moment
the way i will remember her
always

ill keep calling them poems if you do

the ground beneath my feet is that white gravel you see everywhere
cheaper than pavement, better than dirt i suppose
ive been walking a while when a woman starts upon the same trail
roughly ten feet ahead of me
we must have a similar destination
because i appear to trail her,
and i assure you it's merely coincidental,
in the dark for a good thirteen minutes
no sounds but the rhythmic clink of my knife against my pocket change
oh and of course her controlled breathing
to maximize her hearing abilities
the cunt probably thinks i wish to rape her
how vain of her
she stops a moment by a camp site
pretending to check her phone
of course i just walk by
she is nothing
she is a body of pre conceived notions
we all are
making assumptions of our worlds
other people. ourselves. "god".
deciding what someones else's fate holds
like a crack babies fate is already decided for it on day one

battle for seattle

eyes water and burn as the mob meets resistance
just a vast assortment of desperation
we've been backed into a corner
so we're turning vicious
you shouldve seen the signs
you knew it was coming to this
we had all the ingredients for riot
and in turn police brutality
instigators.
anonymity.
scapegoats.
trash cans and flaming dumpsters fill the streets
just like the economical cars that once did
everyone using anything as a weapon
but few muscle through the pepper spray and tear gas
those who do are beaten to death
the life of an outcast
the death of a martyr
middle class workers pitted against middle class cops

-Reilly

slaves with no masters are as good as dead

my generation
our generation
is nothing but service workers
a sea of slaves
cooking your food
answering your calls
watching your children
all with the same blank smile.
and meaningless tone.
all declaring our submissiveness
we know nothing
but following orders
when the time comes for decision making
we will look to another for direction
and await some sense of direction
and wait
and wait
and...

-Reilly

family tree

a tree with deep roots
it is steady and firm
running and retrieving life from every opportunity
slowly but surely
we branch out
we gain strength
strength from other's true solidarity

-Reilly

sodexho

morning comes like a tire rolling over you foot
the perpetrator driving the vehicle doesnt notice
nor would he even care
no one does
my eyelids are much too heavy to bare
but it must be done
we must fight every battle no matter the size
resist the urge to pull the trigger
to keep going just in curiosity
for whats next

-Reilly

i guess ill give them a chance

people never fail to surprise me
once you think you have them figured out
once you got them quaintly categorized
perfectly placed and labeled
they go and do something un thinkable
something insane
something compassionate
something sympathetic

-Reilly

road trip

hours of open space
a van full of angst headin east
we spot three cops
with the accelerator squeazed gently like the way you strangle a lover
i go five over the limit
look at us
arent we all rebels
the road is often changing
from the grand four lane luxury
to the shitty poorly paved back road
people never change however
when one passes
encased in steel
you can practically see the boisterous glow
honking.
yelling.
giving the finger.
fuckem.whatdotheyknowanyways.

-Reilly

back to basics

i had come to find out that writing
like any other activity requires preparation
preparation of the mind of course

one should not write with an empty mind
it would be worse than perhaps
trying to lift weights with a starved body

first the writer in question should ask themselves
what mood am i trying to convey here
to the reader

they should fill their mind with whatever they wish
whatever they wish to get out of it
not necessarily what is good but what is true

there is no way in hell that i can write
when i am having a good time
it will cover up the truth and blind me to the big picture

the solution
a little bit of Bukowski
and a handful reality

-Reilly

a quick thought

the screen of the computer burns my eyes while my music
pounds my ears near to uselessness
better to be painfully aware of yourself
rather than being blind
the lies stain my heart
but i know i have one
and it still beats
day by day.
night by night.
-Reilly

the crutch is finally breaking beneath you

the eve of my graduation
its hot today
the kind of heat that makes you want to sit inside
watching television
the lights off
blinds shut
im not doing any of that though
im sitting. then standing. sitting. standing and walking.
its like a god damned catholic mass
rehearsing our march of affirmation
unmindfully marching like swine to the slaughter
not seeing whats truly happening here
we are baby birds being kicked out of the nest
most will hit the sidewalk with a finalizing smack
i plan to spread my blood soaked wings
i vow to live. not to survive.
-Reilly

employed

the third time this morning
i walk to the facilities not making eye contact with any of the customers
over-wait and worthless
the men's room is small
another rushed man opens the door hurriedly
the way one exits out of a burning building
sees me.
abandons hope.
leaves.
finally alone, acidic bliss is wafting to my nostrils
what is this art i'm looking at?
one of those pieces sold at target
every Victorian style bathroom and sewing room has shit like this in it
fuck. how original.
done. zip.
the sign reads "EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS."
not even a please or thank you
thinking of the customers that had watched me walk by like a homeless that you don't want bothering you
i push the hand dryer button for effect and leave
what are these, new tiles?
self improvement. a quick fix.
crappy art, new floor tiles, whats next?
employees that wash their hands perhaps

-Reilly

you say democracy. i say dictatorship.

you will all bow down one day in fear
"it won't come to that" you scream "never"
look around at these people worshiping something that doesn't exist
im very much real
and ill make you all kneel before your newly acquired master
i am my own god
i'll be yours soon enough
im converting the strong to enslave the masses
none will be safe
all shall fear
i wont kill you for disobedience
that would be kindness
we'll burn you alive for entertainment
children's laughter will fill your ears while your skin sears and fat melts
with so much pain you cant form consonants
no syllables
just animalistic cries
for death
all will realize my power over humanity
and all will realize
i am god

destruction

nothing is original anymore
all the artists are just ripping off the other artists who ripped off someone else
this stuff thats called music is only influenced by money and corporate sponsorship
we will never create anything beautiful again
we are a society of infertile minds

we are working towards a future without meaning
will our children know of anything pure?
no.
everything will be owned and paid for in full
music. film. art. "free speech". whatever.

so i say destroy
if you want to create something new and pure, shake the foundation of this society
destruction is our future form of creation
this cant be owned by anyone
lets destroy something beautiful

writers block

i sit at my office chair
one those chairs that probably cost around ninety dollars
sitting and thinking
thinking about how much i cannot truly think
and this lack of thought structure makes me angry
i can remember once having original thoughts
its the same as the athlete who is now on an oxygen tank
unable to walk up stairs, let alone run or swim
so now i sit
i sit scratching at my head hoping that it'll begin to bleed
bleed copious amounts of blood
and stain my ninety dollar chair